Welcome to The Divorce Coach for Men! I’m really excited to bring this amazing program to you! So let’s start with an introduction, who on earth am I to bring you this program? Why am I focusing on men, and more.
Who Am I?
I’m Leanne and it’s been quite a journey to get here! So a little about me today…
I married when I was only 20 (what was I thinking??) and my husband was just 22! We had no idea how to make a relationship work, but we loved each other and we did our best. I quit university after one year because I thought it was best I got a job so we could buy a house.
After my son was born in 2000 things with my husband and I got worse. He constantly told me there was something wrong with me and I needed help. I knew in my heart the only thing wrong was I was bitterly unhappy in my marriage and I didn’t know how to fix it. So I went to see a psychologist, more to appease him than to help myself!
When I came home after just one session, I announced I was going back to university and I was going to complete my psychology degree!! He was not impressed at all. But it was the first step toward me doing what I wanted for myself.
I then had my beautiful daughter in 2002. Studying with two toddlers was not easy, but I was determined. I became a registered psychologist in 2009, and have been working in my own psychology practice “Reconnect Wellness” since 2010.
It was at that time that my marriage also came to an end. We tried, but we never found a therapist we both liked, and he was very resistant to take on any responsibility for our problems.
I felt alone, depressed, and anxious. I even had thoughts of running away or hurting myself. By that I don’t mean ending it really, just bad enough so I could go to hospital for a few weeks and someone would have to look after me. My tank was empty, and I was still giving to everyone else around me as if nothing was wrong. No one knew my inner desperation.
In 2014, I found the world of coaching, NLP and transformation! I really love what it brings to the space of mental health and awareness, and got very excited to become a coach! It made a huge difference to the way I felt about myself, my value in who I am and what I have to offer. My tank really started to fill again, it was awesome!
So Why Divorce Coaching?
After working with couples for many years, I’ve identified some patterns that predictably cause relationships to break down.
I’ve become super passionate about the area of relationship breakdown; what causes it, and what the effects are afterwards.
This particular interest was sparked from my own experience of divorce. Trying desperately to make it work, ending it and all that is entailed with that, and then, the clincher dating again.
I couldn’t believe the amount of venom that some men had towards women. These are men who were supposed to be trying to attract a new partner! They had no idea about how their actions were perpetuating their loneliness, their anger and resentment. They couldn’t take responsibility for where they were at.
At that point, I was simply someone looking for love, and so I just ended those connection. I wasn’t there to give out free counselling, and they certainly were not there to receive it!
Why Men?
I see a lot of coaches, women’s centre’s and programs that supports women to have empowered relationships, but have noticed a gap with men’s work.
This gap is leading to more distress in men, more suicide in men, more anxiety and depression and anger, which therefore leads to more distress in hundreds of others, including children. To break the cycle we have to give men more attention. We have to normalise how men are feeling and stop the stigma.
How Can I Help Men After Separation?
I’ve designed a program specifically to support Men who are moving through separation and divorce, to own their feelings, and get to an empowered place, so that they can begin to rebuild their life again, in a way that is going to enhance their well-being and set up the foundations for new relationships to come through, without bringing up old wounds a triggers.
It’s a tall task, but I believe that it is time for men to receive the support they deserve in this space too.
Its time for men to know that they are not hard wired to be distant, quiet and unemotional.
Its time for men to know that all that is just a façade and underneath is a person with a load of bottled up emotions, hurts and frustrations, and a big wounded heart, ready to be loved and to love.
One of the biggest killers of men in Australia is suicide, current stats are at 7 per day. This is way too high. 2500 men per year are taking their own lives, leaving behind devastated family and friends.
So many men have been taught to stay silent, and deny their own emotional experiences. This causes illness, stress, depression and anxiety. More often than not it is the people around them who notice a change in behaviour and unfortunately, have to nag the men in their lives to take action!
Most men end up in programs that are recommended to them, by the women around them. And when these men take action, WOW! The change is unbelievable! They notice it, and so do their friends and family. It’s what makes coaching so damn satisfying!
If you want more you can follow me @The_Divorce_Coach_For_Men where I will give you some tips on how to manage your emotions during your divorce and understand your own reactions and those around you.
I always love to hear other people’s reactions or experiences, so please feel free to comment, like and share if you believe this content could help another man, because we all know men who are suffering silently and it doesn’t have to be that way!
If you would like to book a free clarity call to help you understand where you are at, where you want to be and how to get there click here, or to watch a free video to gain some insight before the call click here.
You can also email me at leanne@leanne.acoachfoundation.com
I cant wait to be of service to you and help you to make the changes you want for yourself!
Leanne Kanzler.
Recent Comments