The reason why I know this? Because this is my story too.
I was married for 17 years. I became a version of myself I didn’t like and the internal conflict was so huge I thought I could implode.
I was having nightmares about the walls and my ceiling fan in my room trying to kill me, and woke up in a panic, checking to see if maybe my husband was going to kill me!
I didn’t realise then, that my dreams where about me closing in on myself. It had nothing to do with the man fast asleep next to me!
I was fantasising about driving into an oncoming truck or tree.
I was imagining what it would be like to pack a bag, jump in the car and just drive until I could no longer drive. It didn’t even matter where I ended up.
He was the main income earner. He told me I needed him, and I believed him.
He was the father of my children, who were so young and had no idea that their parents where so unhappy.
The guilt and fear were huge.
The day my life changed was when I took back my power by seeking professional help.
I realised I had a choice. To keep perpetuating the negative feelings by staying in this dark space. Or to find a way to move on with my life and be content again.
Coaching showed me that I had allowed myself to become invisible.
I wanted to keep the peace and avoid conflict, instead I created huge turmoil internally, and I was unable to change things between us.
It gave me hope.
I set doable goals and had someone to guide me through the fear and doubt, I found myself, perhaps for the very first time.