Who Am I?
Life has not always been as clear as it is now. In fact at the time my marriage of 17 years fell apart I really didn’t know what was in store for me. Today, 10 years since those days of anxiety, depression and fighting, my ex and I are both in a much better place.
Now, I regularly work with others who have been in the same situation. I get it, from a personal and professional perspective. I have years of training in working with people who have experienced trauma, relationship issues, including breakups, and much, much more.
In working on myself I realized where I went wrong, in my marriage, and other relationships after that. I learned how to speak my truth. I set clear boundaries for what I wanted in life and I didn’t compromise on that. And that is when everything started to work out for me, and I know it can for you too.
About My Program
Who It Is For?
- If you are a man over 30 and you are struggling due to the effects of a divorce or long-term relationship breakup then this program is for you.
- The goal of the program is to help you to connect back to your friends and family, have a relationship with your kids, and most importantly have a relationship with yourself.
- It doesn’t matter what your sexual orientation is, as this course is for anyone identifying as male.
- Each module also includes a section for Father’s or Step-Fathers. If you don’t have children you can just skip that bit.
Who It Is Not For?
If you are not willing to be open minded then this is not for you.
If you want to stay stuck in the blame game then this program won’t work for you.
Divorce often leads to bad mouthing about the ex. This just keeps you trapped in anger. If you want to be validated in that then this is definitely not for you.
There is no specific legal or financial advice given during the program.
Your Emotions are your Barometer
- Be able to clarify how you are feeling
- Understand why emotions should not be ignored
- Get some tools to deal with difficult times.
Many men struggle with emotions, feeling them and labelling them can be quite difficult. We will discuss emotions and why they are important. It is your emotions that I say are like a Barometer to where you are at.
When you understand the link between how your body physically feels and your emotions you can more readily calm yourself, and be understood by others a lot faster.
We will also look at the basic needs, like understanding depression and anxiety, as well as learn everyday little things you can do to help get “unstuck”.
Surrounding Influences, Motivation, and Your Behaviour
- Surround yourself with people who are aligned with you and your future.
- Identify any problem behaviours that are holding you back and look at your motivation for your choices.
- Enjoy connecting back to what you see as creativity and fun.
Now you have some understanding about emotions and why they are important, we will go a little deeper. We will look at behaviours, which are an outward sign of your internal emotions.
Identify how your behaviours may be preventing you from having the life you want.
In this module we will look at how you can connect back to family and friends.
We will also look at healthy behaviours and having real fun (things that make you laugh and are not detrimental to your health). In tough times it can be easy to forget that fun and creativity can really make a huge difference to how you cope.
- Set IMSMART goals in relation to yourself and what you want. Not what someone else wants for you, not your parents, family, friends, children or ex.
When you set clear goals for yourself you are far more likely to get there. After a divorce people often fall into the pattern of living day by day and not really knowing where they are going.
Financial stress at this time can also be very high. Learn why it is important to focus on what you can control so that you can rebuild your life financially.
You will set some very clear goals that inspire you and give you hope for your own future. The happier you are with your life the happier, and more inspired other people around you will be!
Turn Your Anger Around
Understand why anger is hurting YOU more than anyone else.
- Knowledge is power.” Empower yourself to make wiser choices
- Learn a powerful technique to help with anger and other unwanted emotions
You have all heard the words “Anger”, “Resentment”, “Forgiveness” and “Acceptance”. But do you have a thorough understanding of what each of them mean and how these concepts relate to you?
Understanding is the key to loosening the grip of anger and resentment; to work towards acceptance or even better forgiveness. It is not expected this will happen immediately, but what if some understanding helped to ease the burden you are carrying?
What IS Important to me?
- Knowing what you value in yourself and others.
- Live your life in accordance to your values.
- Identify other areas of life that you may need to work on.
Rediscover the type of man you truly want to be, in work, relationships, as a father and as an individual.
Often, in relationship we can lose our sense of self. We give away so much of who we are to please our partner. However, your partner fell in love with the person you were, not the person you became.
In this module you can explore your own personal values and integrate this with the six areas of life.
You will work through what this means and why knowing your own values can be like a roadmap to success.
Setting Boundaries and Putting Yourself First
- Respecting yourself and others.
- What I want for myself and my life.
- It’s ok to put my needs first assertively.
You will learn what boundaries are and why they are important. This would relate to personal space, the ex, the kids, work, health, your values, money, everything really.
When you begin to respect your personal boundaries, you will find other’s stop taking advantage of you, they begin to respect you as you begin to respect yourself.
Putting yourself first does not mean being selfish, it means looking after your own personal needs and not expecting someone else to do it for you. Self-care is saying “no” when you need to in a respectful way.
Who Am I Now?
- Rediscover Who You Are NOW
- Acknowledge that life is different and that has to be ok
You are more than the relationship, the kids, the business, the money. This is time for a reset, a journey of rediscovery. Divorce can lead to an incredible amount of loss, and we are not just talking about money.
It is time for a massive mindset shift so that you can overcome the loss of friends, family, possessions and your partner. Even without everything that you knew and loved before, you are still worthy of starting over.
Own your masculinity, your vulnerability, your feelings. Accept yourself, the good the bad and the things you need to work on!
How Did I get here?
- A deeper understanding of past patterning that has controlled you on an unconscious level.
- Examine your limiting beliefs around all aspects of life, particularly relationship.
When you discover how you got to this point, you can work towards making sure it doesn’t happen again.
Relationships are all about learnings and growth, whether they be intimate relationships, relationships with your children, friendships or business relationships.
You will identify your negative beliefs systems around relationship. Where did these belief systems come from and how are they impacting you today?
Here you will explore where you might have gone wrong and reflect on what you can do differently in the future.
Looking for Love Again
- Discover if you are ‘dateable’.
- Get clear about the type of partner you want and how to attract them.
You may already be back on the dating scene, or even found a new partner, or maybe the thought of dating again fills you dread. Where ever you are at is perfect.
But are you the kind of guy that women, or men, want to date? Or are you in the category of ‘player’, ‘too wounded’, ‘too angry’, or simply “not ready”?
You now know what you DON’T want, experience has taught you that! But what do you WANT? This module is designed to give you some insight into if you are actually ready to date, and if so, what it is you want in a partner.
If you know you are not ready to date again, don’t despair. This is also very helpful to get you prepared and take away some of the fear around dating, it may even get you excited again.