Who Am I?
Life has not always been as clear as it is now. In fact at the time my 17-year marriage fell apart I really didn’t know what was in store for me. Today, 10 years after those days of anxiety, depression and fighting, my ex and I are both in a much better place.
Now, I regularly work with others who have been in the same situation. I get it, from a personal and professional perspective. I have years of training in working with people who have experienced trauma, relationship issues, including breakups, and much, much more.
In working on myself, I realized where I went wrong in my marriage, and other relationships after that. I learned how to speak my truth. I set clear boundaries for what I wanted in life and I didn’t compromise on that. And that is when everything started to work out for me, and I know it can for you too.
About My Program
Who It Is For?
- If you are a woman over 30 and you are struggling because of a divorce or relationship breakup then this program is for you.
- The goal of the program is to help you to connect back to the true you, back to your heart and what it is that you truly desire for yourself.
- If you are a mum, it is to help empower you to have a great relationship with your kids, and a better relationship with your ex-partner as a co-parent.
- Each module also includes a section for mum’s or step-mums. If you don’t have children, you can just skip that bit.
* If you have experienced abuse and do not have a counsellor or therapist, please book in for a free strategy session so that we can discuss the best support for where you are at now.
Who It Is Not For?
- If you are not willing to be open minded, then this is not for you.
- If you want to stay stuck in the blame game, then this program won’t work for you.
- Divorce often leads to bad mouthing about the ex. This just keeps you trapped in anger. If you want to be validated in that then this is not for you.
- There is no specific legal or financial advice given during the program. It is recommended that you seek professional advice for these matters.
Understanding Your Emotions
- Be able to clarify how you are feeling.
- Understand why emotions should not be ignored.
- Strategies to deal with difficult emotions.
The problem with ignoring our emotions is that at worst, it can literally make us sick, at best, we are missing out on some valuable lessons that will guide us to where our heart and soul truly wants to be.
When you understand the link between how your body physically feels and your emotions you can more readily calm yourself.
Understanding your emotions also means that you can explain yourself, own how you feel and increase the chances that others will understand you too.
We will also look at the basic needs, like understanding depression and anxiety, as well as learn everyday little things you can do to help get “unstuck”.
- Surround yourself with people who are aligned with you and your future
- Identify any problem behaviours that are holding you back and look at your motivation for your choices.
- Enjoy connecting back to what you see as creativity and fun
The reality is that life is more like an interconnected spider web. If one anchor point is not secure then everything else is unstable too.
In this module we will take a look at all aspects of life. We will go a little deeper. We will look at behaviours, which are an outward sign of your internal emotions, and you will get more strategies to make some changes if needed.
After a breakup some women can isolate themselves, or create drama’s that disconnect them from their family and friends. In this module we will also look at how you can connect back to family and friends, and discover who is actually important to you?
We will also look at healthy behaviours and having real fun (things that make you laugh and are not detrimental to your health). In tough times it can be easy to forget that fun and creativity can really make a huge difference to how you cope.
- Set IMSMART goals in relation to yourself and what you want.
- Identify if your goals are what you want, and not what someone else wants for you. Not your boss, parents, family, friends, children or ex.
Financial stress at this time can also be very high. Learn why it is important to focus on what you can control so that you can rebuild your life financially.
You will set some very clear goals that inspire you and give you hope for your own future. The happier you are with your life the happier, and more inspired other people around you will be!
Don’t worry if you have no idea what you want, you will get help to get you started.
Letting Go of Anger and Hurt
- Understand why anger is hurting YOU more than anyone else.
- “Knowledge is power.” Empower yourself to make wiser choices
- Learn a powerful technique to help with anger and other unwanted emotions
Understanding is the key to loosening the grip of anger and resentment; to work towards acceptance or even better forgiveness.
It is not expected this will happen immediately, but what if some understanding helped to ease the burden you are carrying?
What IS Important to me?
- Knowing what you value in yourself and others.
- Live your life in accordance to your values.
- Identify other areas of life that you may need to work on.
Often, in relationship we can lose our sense of self. We give away so much of who we are to please our partner. However, your partner fell in love with the person you were, not the person you became.
In this module you can explore your own personal values and integrate this with the all aspects of life.
You will work through what this means and why knowing your own values can be like a roadmap to success.
Boundaries Set You Free
- Respecting yourself and others.
- What I want for myself and my life.
- It’s ok to put my needs first assertively.
You will learn exactly what it means to have boundaries and why they are important. This relates to personal space, your ex-partner, the kids, work, health, your values, money, everything!
When you begin to respect your personal boundaries, you will find other’s stop taking advantage of you, they begin to respect you as you begin to respect yourself.
Putting yourself first does not mean you are selfish. It means looking after your own personal needs and not expecting someone else to do it for you. Self-care is saying “no” when you need to in a respectful way.
Who Am I Now?
- Discover Who You Are NOW.
- Acknowledge that life is different and that is be ok.
It is time for a massive mindset shift so that you can overcome the loss of friends, family, possessions and your partner. Even without everything that you knew and loved before, you are still worthy of starting over.
Breakups can also lead to a huge loss in identity, especially if there was abuse, or if there is still, emotional manipulation.
Own your feminine, your vulnerability, your feelings. Accept yourself, the good the bad and the things you need to work on!
Learn From the Past
- A deeper understanding of past patterning that has controlled you on an unconscious level.
- Examine your limiting beliefs around all aspects of life, particularly relationship.
Relationships are all about learnings and growth, whether they be intimate relationships, relationships with your children, friendships or business relationships.
You will identify your negative beliefs systems around relationship. Where did these belief systems come from and how are they impacting you today?
You will explore where you might have gone wrong and reflect on what YOU can do differently in the future. It is about empowering you so that you will trust in yourself and feel ready to take on life.
- Discover if you are ‘dateable’.
- Get clear about the type of partner you want and how to attract them.
- Trust yourself enough to date.
But are you the kind of woman that other’s want to date? Or are you in the category of ‘too wounded’, ‘too needy’, ‘too angry’, or simply “not ready”?
Successfully dating is about trusting yourself and being totally honest with yourself. It is important to be able to say no, or yes, and to not compromise on your values or what is important to you.
It is also important to step away from unrealistic expectations, and get real about what a good relationship means to you.
You now know what you DON’T want, experience has taught you that!
But what do you WANT?
If you know you are not ready to date again, don’t despair. This is also very helpful to get you prepared and take away some of the fear around dating, it may even get you excited again.