Is ‘DARE to Decide’ for me?
Getting the right support can save you years of turmoil and heartache.
Does this sound like you?
• I don’t know if I love my partner anymore
• Sometimes it just feels too hard
• I’m scared I won’t be able to manage on my own
• My partner will not accept it’s over and I don’t know how to manage that
• ‘I ‘m so angry
• I worry about the effect on my kids
• I have no idea how to ask for what I want
• I’m afraid my partner will turn on me
• I don’t know how to protect myself financially or emotionally
• I have experienced trauma in my relationship
• My partner could be, or is, a narcissist, how do I escape that?
• My anxiety
• I don’t want to hurt my partner
• It is overwhelming
• I just don’t know what to do next
• I have no one to talk to about this
• I feel so alone
• I am having thoughts of self-harm because I feel so unable to make a move
• The thought of starting over is too much.
There is NO shame in asking for help.
It could be the best decision you ever made!
Making the decision to end your relationship is not easy.
There are many factors to consider, and just one of these points on their own can create a huge amount of stress, not just for you but your partner, your children and even extended family.
You may be asking yourself questions like:
– Where will I live?
– Will I ruin my children’s lives?
– How will I manage co-parenting?
– Can I afford it?
– How will my partner respond?
– How do I even get started?
And so much more.
With all of these unanswered questions, and often no one to really talk to about the answers, is it any wonder that it can take five years or more to make the decision that you have had enough and you have to leave?
How much is this indecision costing you?
And I don’t just mean financially, but also emotionally and physically. The stress of an unhappy relationship can make you physically and mentally very unwell.
When I was in this space I experienced very high anxiety and depression. I was constantly crying and yelling. I had become a person I did not know or like. The pain of the ‘not knowing what to do’ was actually harder then the decision!
I also felt confused if there was any way that we could make our marriage work. I was willing to do whatever it took, and at the same time, I had no idea what that actually meant.
And this is how “DARE to Decide” came to life.
It is a combination of my own lived experience, years of learnings, again both personally and professionally, and working with people just like you.
People who have felt stuck in their relationship.
People who feel unable to make a decision.
People who genuinely care about their partner but cannot live like this anymore.
People who feel trapped because of the circumstances, financial, children, and sometimes abuse.
“DARE to decide’ is about giving you the education you need, perhaps a reality check, to help you take the steps you need to either leave the relationship, or give it one last shot!
- It is NOT about telling you what to do. This is a decision only you can make.
- It is NOT about telling you how to leave the relationship. Yes, there will be guidance if you decide to leave, but ultimately the fine detail is up to you.
- It is NOT a relationship ending program. Many people who do this program take the step to engage in their relationship or to do couples therapy/counselling.
- It is NOT judgmental, based on any religious beliefs or shaming.
- It is NOT legal or financial advice.
- It IS a deep dive into your relationship.
- It IS a safe space for you to be completely honest.
- It IS time for you to reflect on what you want for YOURSELF.
- It IS an opportunity for you to make a decision, to either embrace your relationship and do whatever it takes, or to step away.
- It IS for everyone, no matter how they identify.
The simple answer is Yes, and no.
Ultimately this is a decision that you will likely make on your own.
However, the concept of ‘Conscious Uncoupling’, discussed by Katherine Woodward Thomas (2016), is where you both work together to learn and grow from your experience of your relationship, and then decide together on how you will end the relationship is a respectful and cooperative way.
– If one partner is displaying high narcissistic behaviours this is not for you
– If there is abuse in the relationship
– If someone in the relationship is unwilling to do the work
– If someone in the relationship wants to blame the other
If you are both willing:
- To do whatever it takes
- To respect and honour the love you once held,
- To gently walk through the process of letting go.
- To work together for the sake of the children.
This can only be done if both of you feel safe to be completely honest, there is no abuse or coercion, and both of you are willing to hear the hard truth without trying to convince the other that they are wrong and they should stay, or go!
Separation does not have to be disastrous! It can be loving and kind.
It is recommended that you work through each module on your own, and then come together to discuss the outcome after you have completed it. In doing this you can reflect on your own thoughts, take your time and be honest with yourself.
It is also recommended that if both of you are interested in this that you choose the Individual Coaching Program*. In this way you can receive the guidance and support you need.
Remember, if you could figure out all the hard stuff together you already would have!
What does the Conscious Uncoupling program involve?
Eight online modules plus
2 x individual coaching sessions
2 x couple sessions
The delivery of these sessions is flexible, however it is recommended that you each have one session on your own before a couples session.
There is a 30% discount if you and your partner decide to do this program together. Please book in a complimentary consultation to discuss if this program is for you, and to get started.
Ultimately the main reason for your decision has to be about
YOU and how YOU FEEL!
Who Is Leanne?
Leanne is a registered psychologist and qualified coach. She has also experienced an emotionally abusive marriage, the divorce, and has now successfully found herself, and a loving partner.
This tailor-made program is based on professional and personal knowledge. It is designed to help support you through this process, help you make good decisions, understand yourself and your relationship, and most importantly feel like this really is the best decision for you!
Leanne has featured in many podcasts, links for these can be found in the bio on Instagram @The_Transformational_Breakup
Book an appointment: To arrange a complimentary discussion about how this program may benefit you.
Leanne has been featured in Amazon’s number 1 bestseller Embrace Your Feminessence
Leanne believes in working with men as well as women. She explains why in her TEDx talk. TEDx “Why the time is NOW to talk to Men” This talk is only available via this link due to the potential “disturbing nature” of the talk.
FB Support Group (Free for everyone) Divorce, Separation and a little bit of hope
What is “Dare To Decide”?
D for DOWNLOAD – discuss with no judgement what has led you to this uncertainty. During the session you will be guided toward more clarity.
A for ASK for what you need. Gain confidence to discuss with your partner your needs. You will also be asked some questions about your own needs, and work on a specific limiting belief that is keeping you stuck.
R for REALIGN. Your emotions are ultimately what keeps you from making wise decisions. All the what if’s, the fear, the doubt, the worry about making the wrong decision. In this session we will work on Anger or Resentment.
E is for Escape or Engage. Depending on what you have decided after the first three sessions this session will focus on next steps.
It is very painful to sit on the fence. With one foot in the relationship and one foot out you are neither committed to stay or to go.
By the time you reach this point I want you to be able to say YES, I am ALL in, or YES, I am Leaving!
Eight Online modules to help guide you to greater clarity.
This includes the modules above however does not include any personalised coaching. You can choose to add in sessions as you need at an extra cost. You will be given the calendar link to do this.
Four personalized sessions with Leanne to help you dig deeper, unravelling your thoughts and gaining clarity about what is right for you and your situation.